Saturday, 28 April 2012
What a suckass day here today. It’s somewhere around 35-40 degrees and only supposed to get up to 50 today, it’s overcast and raining and very windy. Gross.
I had the weirdest fucking dreams last night. One was about this animal abuse scandal in Romania…I was on this farm that grew roses, of all things, and they had all these cute little animals (and I do mean little, about the size of cats)
pulling plows and stuff. It was strange. Some of the animals were injured and wearing casts and the farmers made them pull the plows anyway, and it was horrible and sad. Then I had a dream that I was maid of honor at Kim Kardashian’s wedding to some Hispanic guy, and she wanted to me to wear this really ugly headpiece. But I was too tall and she couldn’t put it on my head, even when I sat in a chair she still couldn’t reach the top of my head. Also she was about 9 months preggo. Then I had another dream that my fiancé and I were high and hung over and I ended up missing a symphony concert that I was supposed to play in. I forgot my music and didn’t have the right clothes to wear, and then we couldn’t get across town because they were filming a movie on the interstate, plus we didn’t even leave the house until 15 minutes after the concert started because he was high and was supposed to drive me there. I was really pissed off at him in the dream and he didn’t even care. It was really weird. Also in the same dream, we left white powder all over the sheets and then my mom came home and wanted to take a nap so we ripped all the sheets off the bed so she wouldn’t see that we had been doing drugs in the bed. What an awesome dream (not). These all happened this morning between 2 and 7. My fiancé said that at one point I was whispering “Shut up. Shut up. Shut up. Shut up.” In my sleep. Creepy!
I have plenty to do today, so I’m going to blog too. Makes sense, right? Waste time doing what I shouldn’t be doing? But I’m feeling the hair color bug. It has bitten me right in the…hair. I need to bleach my roots, and I’m going to get as close to white on my whole head as possible, wear it like that for awhile, and then start adding some bright or pastel pink (and maybe purple, blue, or green). Yay!
Also, I continue to be fat. I did not work out this morning. I am PMSing and I don’t give a shit about anything. It sucks. I need to find a way to snap the fuck out of it.
I’m going to Minneapolis next weekend with my mom to visit my sister. I always like to do something wild with my hair when I go to see her because she’s such a square when it comes to that stuff (but she does work at a church preschool in a rich suburb, so I guess it comes with the territory). She wears things like sensible cardigans and knee-length skirts and flats to work, whereas I wear things like rock band t-shirts and jeans and polka-dotted socks and bracelets I made out of yarn. I still have a desk and responsibilities and my boss likes me. These anomalies do exist, folks.
Another random: most of the time I really like my very pale complexion because it is mostly clear and smooth. Well, idk what is up with this, but in the last few years I’ve noticed that I bruise VERY easily, because I will find bruises and not remember at all how or when they got there. This morning in the mirror I found another one of the back of my arm, and while in the shower I counted 11 bruises. The two that are dark-colored and look disgusting and painful are ones that I remember getting and know where they came from, and I vaguely remember one other one. But the rest? No idea. I look like one of those nasty women in a cheaply-done porno because I have them on my legs and upper thighs. Why is this? I don’t know, but come summer, it’s going to be bad. I normally don’t care one iota what people think, but I don’t want people thinking I’m in an abusive relationship or something like that. My fiancé is sweet and nice and wonderful and I am not about to go out with some huge-ass
ugly bruise on my upper arm and have people think he did that, and I’m afraid that’s what they will assume. Either that or that I’m into some kind of weird extreme sports, or that I’m a druggie or something. Especially with my clothes and weird-colored hair…add some bruises to the mix and people are going to think I’m really some sort of freakish person to steer clear of.
Quite frankly though, most of the time I’m fine with people staying away from me. It’s the icy sideways glares that I don’t appreciate. Mind your own business and I’ll mind mine. That’s how it works.
Well, I'm in a pretty shitty mood today so I was googling rainbow hair and Lisa Frank. I used to be OBSESSED. with Lisa Frank. Totally obsessed. I had Lisa Frank folders and notebooks, and stickers, and Lisa Frank stationery with rainbow-colored envelopes for writing letters to my friends and thank-you notes for birthday presents. I wish I could puke up a rainbow right now, maybe that would make me feel better and make this splitting headache go away.
This was the picture on my stationery:
And these were amont my FAVORITE FOLDER DESIGNS OF ALL HISTORY. The rainbow unicorns probably being #1 fave:
^^I loved that one!!
Rainbow unicorns are pretty cool too. Have you ever googled rainbow unicorns? Here are some:
HAHA, THIS ONE'S AMAZING:
God, sometimes I just get on these weird kicks with childish sweet-as-sugar sickening crap like this. I mean, I really do love rainbow unicorns. I'm not kidding about this. Isn't this a nice follow-up to my last post about abortion and my desire to control my own uterus? See, I'm not such a badass scary hoe, am I? Don't answer that :D
Have you ever googled "rainbow barf?" I just tried it. It was enlightening. Behold:
^^I want a t-shirt that says that. Like, REALLY BADLY.
And suddenly, I feel the OVERWHELMINGLY POWERFUL urge to go to Wal-Mart, shoplift some Lisa Frank shit, pink hair dye, and fake fingernails (but not buy it because I'm fucking poor as hell since my fiance is still looking for a job and I'm behind on all my mother-fucking bills, eff my life), and then go home to give myself a manicure, dye my hair candy-pink, and draw Lisa Frank-style pinup girls in naughty costumes. I love mixing elements of cartoony rainbow awesomeness with a little bit of sex and rock-and-roll. It feels sacreligious in an enticing way.
Well, love and cupcakes to you all. Go forth and troll bravely for me.